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Season 5 of “Yellowstone”: The Craziest Moments and Burning Question from Two Episodes Filled with Boozing, Boozing, and Big Belt Buckles

John Dutton (Kevin Costner), has won the race to be governor. “Yellowstone,” has now returned. It’s not a problem, he absolutely hates it! Despite all the opposition from Market Equities, and all the enemies made by the Dutton family along the way, the position is entirely in his service to keeping his land.

John’s children are also along for the ride: Beth (Kelly Reilly), the iconic Beth; Jamie (Wes Bentley), the human weasel Jamie), who was neutered after Beth’s blackmail. He had murdered his biological father. Kayce (Luke Grimes) is Kayce, the livestock officer.

We were left with many questions and unanswered thoughts after this season’s epic opening episode.

Episode 1: “One Hundred years is nothing”

*Has John ever been as emo about being elected governor?

*John does not intend to represent all Montanans. He’s at least honest when his opponent, who is, I believe Mr. East Coast Liberal Venti Laatte, asks him to concede.

*What is Jamie’s lowest moment? When everyone rushes out of the campaign room to celebrate, and the lights go out while he’s still there? Embarrassing!

*Beth’s death stare at Jamie as the confetti falls…how could that not bore a hole right through his head?

*Shoutouts to Caroline Warner (Jacki Weber) for throwing her entire bottle of liquor in disgust. She is very crazy!

*Is Jamie stupid enough to work for Market Equities? His family will be so skeptical of anything he pitches.

*Young Beth is played with skill by Kylie Rogers. Taylor Sheridan might consider a spinoff of “Gossip Girl”, about the young bunkhouse.

*Big, romantic scenes between Beth (Cole Hauser), and Rip (Cole Hauser), are wonderful, but…Rip’s kinda right? It looks like Beth has made many apologies for her past. It’s all okay! Let’s look forward.

Random thought: Why didn’t Chris Pratt dress up as Rip in Halloween costumes? There are so many costumes to choose from, and they are more interesting than a garden fairy. Before everyone gets mad, the garden fairy costume was tied to the children’s costumes, which were a butterfly, and a bee. Let’s make Lil’ Governor Dutton and Lil Jamie our children and celebrate together!

*Beth’s “vodka make me happy” line… Is this the season when the hard-drinking Duttons will have to get help with their boozing? This is a very sad line to use in this “finding happiness” conversation.

*Honest question: Could Kayce and his family be spun off into their own TV show? They seemed out of place in the political intrigue and ranching of the main series since the beginning of last season. Perhaps he could be given a “Walker Texas Ranger”-like spinoff that allows us to get to know his family, his fellow lawmen, and the real codes of the livestock agents. These vignettes — like seeing those free-healthcare-loving, fancy-pants Canadians at the border give up jurisdiction because American prisons are notoriously tougher on law-breakers than our criminal-loving neighbors up north — seem increasingly half-baked.

*What was John’s stutter when he was asked to recite his name in English? Are you haunted by your past? Are there underlying medical issues? Are you afraid of the unknown?

*Based on this swearing-in ceremony Jamie can get ahead in politics by simply wearing. A. Big. Cowboy. Hat.

*Totally there for Beth and Jamie’s bickering. One of the best lines in the episode is his murmur of “We are all going to prison”.

*The driver is a complete sycophant from the moment he enters the gate. He will betray the Duttons.

*Welcome back Teeter (Jennifer Landon). Your amazing accent steals every scene.

*The Shane Smith and The Saints performance serves as a reminder that Yellowstone has one of the most outstanding alt-country soundtracks. The official Spotify playlist contains a lot of bangers.

*All this Nero talk…way for Rip to ruin the party vibe,

*What a terrible car accident! Monica (Kelsey Asbille), seems to have the worst luck of all TV characters. She can’t seem to catch a break!

*Monica has lost the baby?! They named the baby John? Heartbreaking!

Episode 2: “The Sting Of Wisdom

*Brecken Merrill does an amazing job in the claustrophobic scene where Tate struggles to escape from the car accident, and his subsequent shock and hysterics as he searches for his mother.

*Send a pin to 911 with the location of your home…very smart, Tate!

*Things are becoming very heavy. Let’s check in on Rip’s massive belt buckle and tasseled chaps.

*Chief Of Staff Jim Roberts should probably have introduced himself earlier in this transition to Governor Dutton

*Bye, Jim!

*It’s funny to see John start to squirm when he realizes that his Ron Swanson-esque dream of an eternally ditching meetings existence won’t work out for him politically.

*Ouch, Beth! Jamie’s savage words about fathers from Beth…yikes!

This is a very sad episode. Click here to see a collection of photos of dogs dressed as cowboys. Yellowstone Ranch may not be as efficient if they had a boss, but it would be so cute! ?

*While cowboys try to keep the wolves away from the ranch, John tries to fight the political wolves. Metaphor alert!

Sarah (Dawn Olivieri), *Market Equities’ secret weapon, seems to be a knockoff Beth. They will be fighting!

*Ugh! Jamie is going to be in love with Sarah.

*Don’t worry valet characters, just a few lines: Beth was confusing Beth’s car payment metaphor.

As if this episode weren’t enough tragic, Rip must shoot a horse. Jeez!

*We never thought we’d ever see a — checks and notes — mountain biker trying hit on Beth. But good luck!

*Ah, nothing quite like a five-degree Beth burn. Magnifique!

*Another “Yellowstone” special: When someone asks “What’s the hell are you doing?”, verbally punch them in their faces.

Rip’s manipulation and intimidation skills are unmatched. Although none of Rip’s schemes this season match the idea of putting a poisonous serpent in a cooler and shaking it before throwing it at a man, his driftwood meets Wolf collar scheme is quite clever.

*Maybe this doesn’t fit with their vibe, but John is going to be a couple with Clara (Lillikay)? Although he likes younger women, this would be too much. Related: Will he officially pardon his protestor’s fling Summer (Piper Perabo) or let her stay in jail?

Phew! This is it for this week. You can still check out Variety’s Season 5 Preview, which includes interviews with Hauser and Reilly.



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